Almost every parent at some point considers putting up a star chart in their house. Simply put, these are charts that reward specific desirable behaviours such as doing house chores, being kind, performing tasks correctly and any other behaviour you want to see from your child. When a child successfully performs a desired behaviour, the parent rewards them with a sticker on the chart. Usually if the child reaches a set amount of stickers they can exchange them for a prize.

In fact the point system is an integral part of society as we see ordinary people scanning their Tesco Club Cards to eventually cash in their points and we pay back our credit card debt to increase our credit scores. It’s all the same principle. Psychologists would call this positive conditioning. By implementing a reward system for specific behaviours we can condition ourselves to repeatedly perform desirable behaviours as we’ll be rewarded with something we want.

In practise, point charts work very well. Schools often implement this technique in the form of ‘house points’ with each point going towards their overall house’s points in the hope of beating the other team and receiving a reward. I have witnessed many children perform sometimes difficult tasks with ease once they have a reward incentive to motivate them.

Personally, star charts are a great, easy and visual way to get children to perform certain tasks however the implementation of the chart has to be done correctly or it will quickly become useless and may actually backfire resulting in the emergence of undesirable behaviours. What should we do to ensure the star charts work?

Be Consistent

Every time you buy a Costa Coffee you get a stamp on your Costa Card. When you get 10 stamps you get a free coffee. The moment they stop stamping your card consistently, you begin to care less about collecting the stamps as the reward begins to seem further away. If the reward is not guaranteed, then understandably you begin to lose interest. The exact same applies to children if you begin to neglect the star chart and lose track of rewarding your children for their desired behaviours. If you have decided to put up a star chart be aware that it becomes pointless if you don’t stick to it.

Don’t Be A Hypocrite

Make sure you also openly perform all of the desirable behaviours you have put on your child's star chart! Our role is to be the shepherds guiding children into adulthood. Teaching them how to become rounded human beings requires leading by example. The best way to ensure you also perform the tasks is to make yourself a chart and stick it next to your child’s. That way you can both participate in the tasks together which creates a great opportunity to bond.

No Over Rewarding

It’s important children understand that they are not solely performing the desired behaviour in order to receive the star. They are also performing the desired behaviour because it’s the right thing to do. We don’t just brush our teeth to get a sticker, we brush our teeth to keep our teeth healthy! In order to achieve this balance I always advise that people reward stars by taking into consideration the individual child’s abilities. If they already brush their teeth every single day with no issues then begin to move the goal post. Now to get the star they have to brush their teeth for a full week. This encourages children to achieve and keeps things interesting by offering new goals. The same applies when you give out stars for kindness or sharing. They are not being kind just to receive the star, they should be kind because it’s the right thing to do so give out the star if you feel they have excelled beyond their usual behaviours.

Mix It Up

To keep things interesting it helps to change the desired behaviours every month. You can swap out some of the things your child has gotten very good at such as teeth brushing and replace it with something they don’t do as much like making the bed in the morning. This helps to keep the star chart fresh, new and exciting as you can also mix up the rewards.

If you feel like your child could do with some visual guidance, give star charts a go and see how it works out for your family.

Written By Nanny Emmy

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